Social Anxiety Series Post #3: Controlling Your Social Anxiety

Some people are plauged with such anxiety when it comes to social situations that they have trouble functioning normally.  Have you ever felt that?  Even if it's not about being around other people, if there's something that's causing you anxiety, by definition, it's something that you can't help but think and worry about.  If you're trying to actually do something else while you are doing all this thinking and

worrying, it can be overwhelming and debilitating.
 

That being said, there are a couple things that you can try to actively do when you are in a situation that makes you anxious.
 

Make it easier on your brain.  You can't think about two separate things at the exact same time.  Take advantage of that.  If there is something that you are concentrating hard on, you're not going to be able to worry about what everyone else is thinking about you or whether you are talking too much (or not enough), or whatever your particular anxieties are.  My social anxiety is the worst in medium-sized groups of people. That means that if I am only with a few people, I'm fine, and if I'm in a big crowd I'm fine, but with ten or fifteen people, I have a lot of trouble interacting normally.  So, what I try to focus on in these situations are smaller things.  Something about what one person just said.  Something that it reminds you of.  Pick out the details of what is going on around you, and you'll forget to be anxious.

Give yourself a break.  If you are struggling a lot in a certain situation, and the anxiety is just piling up and getting worse and worse...you're allowed an off-day.  Give yourself a metaphorical hug and tell yourself that you'll be more comfortable next time.  Sometimes you'll find that just taking the pressure off yourself to be perfect will make you act more natural and "breezy". Breezy is a word that my high school guidance counselor used to tell me to be all the time.  I talked to her about a lot of the stuff that I was going through with my anxiety, and in stressful situations I would hear her voice telling me to "be breezy".  Being breezy just meant don't take the situation too seriously and don't be afraid to look silly. Shake it off.  Let the breeze take it, if you will.

Don't compare yourself to others.  Some people are better in larger social situations, and some are better one-on-one or in very small groups.  Some people are good in both!  You don't have to be good in every situation and make friends everywhere you go.  Just because your best friend is a social butterfly, it doesn't mean that you have to be.  

Think about looking stupid and having your peers think you're a big weirdo.  All the time.  Think about whatever it is that you're afraid of happening.  Think about it so much that you get used to it.  Think about it so much that it doesn't scare you anymore.  Accept it.  Then you can feel twice as good during the times when you don't feel like that, and not so bad in the times that you do.

Thanks for reading and let me know if this was helpful for you.