Social Anxiety Series Post #2: Why do so many people have it nowadays?

While the internet can be a wonderful place for people to come together, I feel like it is also pulling people apart from interacting in person.

Because there is so much communication online these days, I feel like people (especially young people) are not having to actually talk to each other. 

Before I had my last job, I would SO much rather e-mail someone than have to get on the phone and actually talk to them, even if it is so much quicker that way.  I always made the excuse that my poor hearing made talking on the phone difficult, but now I feel like that was a cop-out.  I try not to play the ‘poor hearing card’ anymore.

When kids have to go to events at school or anywhere else that they have to be and interact with people face-to-face, it can be really intimidating, because they don’t do it on a daily basis.  I feel like kids talk to so many more people online than they would in person, and why is that?  Because in person they can see your face?  I just don’t want young people to have to go through all this anxiety when they shouldn’t have to think twice about face-to-face social situations.

For example, during the summer before I went to college, the school sent out letters telling you who your roommate was going to be so you could talk about what you were going to bring for the dorm.  Someone started a Facebook group for my dorm, and everyone talked about what room they were in and who their roommates were.  Everyone seemed so insanely friendly!  However, when I got there and we were doing orientation stuff, I noticed a few names from the chat, and they were nothing like they were online. 

It’s like some people have an online personality and an in-person personality.  It’s nice that shy kids can be more confident and outgoing through the internet, but it gives them an excuse to not have to work on their face-to-face social skills.

If I ever have kids, I really want them to be themselves whether online or in person and develop good social skills (that they actually use!).

Now I’m not saying that technology and the connections we make on the internet is a bad thing.  I’m just saying that there should be a better balance between socializing online and socializing in person.  I’m also not saying that I’m a perfect social butterfly who is not affected by today’s internet culture.  I’m extremely socially awkward (less so when I get a few drinks in me, hehe) and I am often insecure about being in social situations, especially when I don’t have friends or family with me.  

How much of your socializing do you do online?

When’s the last time you struck up a conversation with a stranger in person? Online?  Online is easier, right?

If you were to say ‘I talked to so-and-so’…would it more likely mean an actual conversation, or something via the internet like a text or e-mail?