Social Anxiety Series: My Experience

Social anxiety has been something that has come up a lot for me recently, especially because more and more of my life is being lived on the internet (thanks to blogging and YouTube).  So I thought I'd do kind of an advice-type post today about social anxiety...but as I was writing it was getting too long for one post (I guess I have a lot to say on the subject!) so I decided to make it into a 5 post series.  To begin the series, I'll start with a little summary of my experience with it.

I just want to say first that there are a lot of people who are embarassed about having emotional problems like social anxiety, depression, etc.  I'm not one of them for a few reasons.  The first is that all the people who are close to me already know about what I'm going through/have gone through and they have all accepted me for it.  I've never felt the need to hide it, especially when I've been in need of their support (which I have gotten a ton of).  Second, I don't want anyone else suffering from emotional issues to think that you can't talk about it, or that they should be embarassed by it.  Third, I hope that talking about my experience might be helpful to someone else going through it, as certain things I've done have helped me that I'd like to share.

Anyway, I think that I've gone through 2 periods of pretty bad social anxiety, which were during high school, and right after I was diagnosed with post concussion syndrome.  I was really shy and timid in high school, but in college I gained a lot of confidence through soccer and I felt better in social situations. The high school I went to on Long Island was huge and I had a really small group of friends who I hung out with and didn't really branch out at all.  The college I went to in Maine was really small, and it took me awhile, but I started to feel welcome there and definitely was a lot more outgoing.  Being part of the soccer team was a huge help with this because it was like I had a built-in set of friends that I made in preseason before the entire student body got to campus.  I don't know if I would have adjusted as well to being so far away from home without that support system.

In the beginning of my post concussion syndrome, I was in really bad shape.  I felt crappy all the time and I couldn't drive, read or exercise.  I couldn't focus on anything for more than a few minutes and I zoned out constantly.  I had a lot of depression and general anxiety, and I had no friends in Maine to share any of this with.  My friends all lived on Long Island, so I only got to see them when I went home.  It was hard to make plans with them because I never knew if I was going to feel well enough to actually hang out with people.  Because I had become isolated in this way for so long, whenever I did get the opportunity to socialize, I was so anxious and nervous.  As my physical and mental health is improving, I am doing a lot better socially and have sorted out a lot of difficulties associated with my condition.

That being said, social anxiety differs from person to person.  Not everyone has the same experiences with it, so not all of what I talk about will be helpful to you.  I hope that you can take a few things away from this series even if your experience isn't similar to mine.

I totally understand not wanting to tell the internet about your personal and internal issues, but if you would like to comment or share anything please feel free!!

Thanks for reading!